its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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