Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
