I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
