i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
