I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
