I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You ruined the universe
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
