I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just want nice things and good sex
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
