turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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