Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
