And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
