You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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