so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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