This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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