i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Randomize
