She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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