watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize