I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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