Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Randomize
