I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
