puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize