69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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