My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
