also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
