i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
