Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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