Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
