I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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