Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize