I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
