I'm laying in your front yard are you home
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
