So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
