Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
