There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize