She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
