If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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