If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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