After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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