it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
