question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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