Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
