You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
