she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
