that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
