So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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