Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
