Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
