Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
