I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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