Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
