A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
