got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
