her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
