Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
We got so high we made milksteak
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
