If that was your dad, he is hot
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
