i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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