Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
