You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
