...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
