Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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