Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
